I feel like I'm moving better and faster, been getting out of the house more. Even had a few slumber parties on my own and one impromtu at that. But pretty much made it work!
I keep trying to compare things in my head of how I was a year ago as opposed to how I am now. And honestly I feel like I have come SO far.
Last September I couldn't hang out for more than a couple hours. And sometimes that was even pushing it. I didn't hardly want to leave the house. Everything was exhausting and no matter how much sleep I got it still didn't feel like enough.
Ok that last part may still be true, the thing is though I got tired of babying myself and I wanted to really get out there and live!
Yes I get tired, it takes me 10 minutes to get into a car, sometimes I lose my balance while trying to sit, or my knee randomly gives out.
I need an additional person to help me with pretty much everything, but so many people have done so without even having to ask.
I get that I'm different now and that some people can't handle that, some people have even said "Dawn is doing terrible"
But you know what? I'm not!
I get up each day with the most positive attitude I can have. Even if I am having a crappy day I put on a smile anyway (fake it until you make it) and you know what 90% of the time those days are great! Everyone prefers sunshine to storm clouds (well maybe a little storm never hurt anyone, but you know what I mean)
Some days I do too much and pay for it for a week after, but life is for living and loving and not wallowing.
Wallowing doesn't get you anywhere!
As my brother once told me "being hurt is not something you can stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice" and I choose to be happy an fun and share laughs with people I care about.
There are people out there that have it so much worse than me.
There are people that never leave their house.
I can't do that, the main thing that helps me get through each and every day is my friends and family.
The thing is, yes I got dealt a shitty hand. No one wants to be disabled in their thirties. No one wants to be co dependent on other people, but it's what has happened. I just choose to make the best out of every day because I am living proof that you don't know what tomorrow can bring.
Ok I sort of got off track from what I originally came here to write about.
Today was my second to last day of physical therapy. Granted I will be continuing my exercises at home but it's taken me awhile to get to this point.
Today I did a repeat of the 6 minute walk test and I beat my goal that was set from the start. I'm really proud of that because I feel like it has been a long time coming. I was afraid since I was still not feeling 100% that my test was going to not be up to par.
I was partially annoyed that she did the exercises in the wrong order though so I was I tired when she wanted to do the balance stuff. Which by the way standing with my eyes closed seems to last a whole 3 seconds before I topple over.
I am hoping that at my next neuro appointment I will receive good news. I am having a hard time waiting so long in between appointments. Especially since that last EMG the doctor didn't think there was any signs of dymylination.
Which blows my mind cuz that means one of two things. And I honestly hope that it means I'm getting better and not that I'm misdiagnosed.
Well I guess that's about it for now :-)
-D
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