These are a few of my favorite things...

I told my friend the other day that the term "roid rage" to me more so has to do with my bum and not the actual steroids themselves haha 

Because let's be honest the steroids themselves aren't making me angry the roid on my bum that feels like I'm being stabbed does. Anyone else have this problem? No just Me that's ok I like to keep it honest around these parts lol. 

Ok onto more serious issues 

Well I know this won't seem like much to those of you who have working legs, but I just stood at my walker for more than 2 minutes! 

This is a personal best for me so far. 

I mean daily I obviously walk back and forth from room to room around the house but standing I am not so great at.

PT wanted me to start standing without my shoes on. Says it's good for the sensory in my feet. Without shoes is very scary to me. I can't tell you the last time I was able to just get up and walk without putting on my crocs. 

So I just stood for about a minute and 30 seconds without my shoes on. I noticed my feet rock back and forth a lot. I'm supposed to practice shifting my weight from side to side and front to back. 

Side to side isn't so bad, but front to back I feel like I'm going to fall. 

I'm not sure why that is since all exercises I do are done with my walker. 

They say these exercises will improve my balance but they are damn scary! 

I wish I had something to simulate a gas pedal. That would help build up the muscles around my ankle again. I hope to one day actually be able to drive again. Although at this point that's all just a dream to me. I miss it and the independence that comes along with being able to drive a car. Right now I just don't trust my legs enough to take that risk. One day though I will get back to driving a car! 

I'm starting to worry about what is going to happen with my insurance after the new year. I know worrying isn't good for me but if I have to enroll in my own insurance I'm guna have to try and figure out how to pay for that on top of everything else. 

Hopefully one day I will be able to return to my job just In a modified way. Fingers crossed. 

Thankfully I'm done with IVIG for now which billed out at 10k per day! I still cannot believe how expensive that is but I guess when you are dealing with a human product it gets expensive. 

I often wonder how many people do not get the treatment they need just based on the cost alone. I know I would have had to file medical bankruptcy if I didnt have insurance.

I try every day to think of all the positive things I have in my life and what I am thankful for on a daily basis. This helps to keep Debbie downer from rearing her ugly head. 

So here we go with a few daily thankfuls

* that I'm alive and well enough to enjoy time with my family and friends for the holidays

* that I can walk even if I look like Frankenstein or a walker from walking dead 

* that I am strong enough to do things for myself like getting out of bed and showering (needed help with this in my earlier months) 

* my partner/companion/lover ha who has been helping me through all this and was supportive when I said I was going to take a 2 month trip to michigan. His love and support keeps me motivated to keep pushing myself to get back to where I was. I miss him every day and am counting down the days until I get to see him 

* my parents who have been putting up with me and all my odd requests. Who help me in and out of the house, drive me everywhere and just over all love me. I genuinely feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have the support of their parents. Their love and support sometimes is the only thing that gets me through the day. I honestly can't imagine how they feel having to take care of their daughter at 32. 

* my brother he is the one usually turn to when I'm feeling down and out about all this. He somehow just knows how go out a positive spin on things and get me back to focusing on the good instead of the bad. He genuinely is my best friend and I love him to death 

*my MT through all of this she has been there especially at the time when I felt like no one in the world possibly understood what I was going through. She told me stories about her past and present stuff going on and while it wasn't the same type of stuff it made me realize that there are other people out there fighting their own battles as well and even though I may feel alone I'm not 

*My Besties - Shauna, Leah and Heather

Just sharing in laughs with these ladies can turn my whole day around. 

I honestly do not know what I would do without them and our weekly dates. You ladies are keeping me sane and I appreciate it like you wouldn't believe <3

*my family! (Blood and non blood) Anyone who has come to see me or spent time with me. Pushed me around in my wheelchair. Helped me up some stairs or just shared a few cocktails with me. Thank you for realizing I am still the same person just with a few limitations. 

Thanks for being patient and kind to me even on my most frustrating days. You all really have no idea how much I appreciate and love you all I sincerely mean that! 

See now I am in a nice positive and upbeat mood! It's nice to think of all the positive stuff you have in life. 

Nothing is ever set in stone with life and even tho you think you have a path set sometimes life throws you a monkey wrench and you just have to work around it. I think this has taught me to just be thankful every day because you never know what tomorrow may bring you! 

And with that being said I think that is all I have to offer you for today.